If You Blame, Remember the Gain

by Devora Gila Berkowitz

Parshat Vayeishev

Do you blame yourself over things from the past?

You're in good company, because Reuven does, too. Seeing that his brothers want to kill Yosef, he tries saving him from harm by suggesting that the brothers put Yosef into a pit.  But when Reuven returns, he discovers Yosef missing -- now a slave on the way down to Egypt -- and rents his garments, asking, "Where can I go?" (Bereshit 37:30)

Poor Reuven. He thinks he is in control of all of his actions. He doesn't consider that his good-hearted attempt is an act of divine intervention, all in the context of G-d's overall plan. How? It's the grand plan of bringing the Children of Israel to Egypt into slavery and then redeeming them to give them the holy Torah.

If Reuven pays attention he may see that the numerical value of "Where can I go" is 120, the age at which Moses dies, and therefore a symbol of Israel's redemption from Egypt.

So where can you go in your Reuven-ic consciousness? When you fall to the temptation of blaming yourself, just imagine what tremendous salvation G-d has planned for you.

Or perhaps it's already in front of your eyes, waiting for you to notice?

Transformations

by Devora Gila Berkowitz

Parshat Vayishlach

When Avram's name changes, he receives a divine "hei" and becomes Avraham (Bereshit 17:5). Avraham represents chesed, an outpouring of giving, -- the right side of the body. He is the epitome of lovingkindness.

Yaakov's name change is more drastic -- from Yaakov to Yisrael (Bereshit 32:29). His transformation comes out of an internal struggle that leaves him limping yet emerging victorious. Part of this victory stems from being able to integrate both his past and future. For this, he represents the center line, balance, harmony, and beauty.

Can you relate to either of these transformations? If so, which one, and why? Feel free to share.
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Revenge is Sweet -- Or is It?

by Devora Gila Berkowitz

Parshat Vayishlach

Do you ever dream of taking revenge?

Shimon and Levi do. They take their brothers' plan one step further. The "clever" plan was to dissuade Shechem with the requirement of circumcision in exchange for agreeing to Dina's marriage (Bereshit 34:13-17).

They're probably surprised when Shechem accepts, and the whole city performs circumcision.

The action is a fair "punishment" for the violation of Dina -- causing pain to the organ that was used to assault her (Sifsei Kohen).

But rather than extracting fair punishment, Shimon and Levi end up killing all of the men of Shechem and plundering the entire city. After all, "Should he treat our sister like a harlot?" (Bereshit, 34:31)

Jacob is distraught by his sons' behavior (Bereshit 34:30). Apparently, revenge goes beyond the range of acceptable behavior.

Go back to your own revenge fantasy. Which parts of you does it stimulate? And what happens when you state scaling down revenge to something less grandiose?

Is it Love?

by Devora Gila Berkowitz

Parshat Vayishlach

Comparing two parallel situations -- one from Chayei Sarah; the other from Vayishlach:

1. Rivka "took the veil and covered herself" (Bereshit 24: 65) whereas Dina "went out" (34:1)
2. "The servant told Yitzchak all the things he had done" (24:66) whereas Shechem "saw her" (33:2). (Italics mine)
3. "And Yitzchak brought her into the tent of Sarah his mother" (24:67) whereas Shechem "took her" (33:2)
4. Yitzchak then "married Rivka, she became his wife" and then "he loved her" (24: 67) whereas Shechem "lay with her and violated her" (33:2) only after which he "loved the maiden" (33:3) and said to his father, "Take me this girl for a wife" (33:4).

What strikes you the most about these two parallel stories?

Inner Wrestling

by Devora Gila Berkowitz

Parshat Vayishlach

Yaakov's famous wrestling match is one of the highlights of biblical drama (Bereshit 32:25-33).

The question always is: Who is the angel? Is it an aspect of Esav, or is it an aspect of Yaakov?

We're all connected -- a myriad of faces united through the image of one Creator. So, if it's an angel of Esav, it's a reflection of Yaakov. And if it's an angel of Yaakov, it's a reflection of Esav.

Who are you fighting with -- in your head, in your home, at work, in the present, in your past? And what reflections do you see?

How to Connect with G-d in Just 3 Easy Steps

by Devora Gila Berkowitz

Parshat Vayishlach

Yaakov's got no time to waste.

His brother is after him -- big time.

What does he do? First, he divides the camp. Then he prays. Finally, he sends part of his flock as gifts to Esav (Bereshit, 32:8-19)

Each of these steps has great significance in Yaakov's relationship with G-d. 

First, dividing the camp is his way of accepting the situation that G-d has sent him. (Just praying for salvation leaves out this important step.)

Next, praying connects Yaakov to G-d, allowing Him to give and Yaakov to receive.

Last, he thanks G-d for His protection. Giving up some of his possessions is a way of showing gratitude for the help that G-d will give him.

Try these steps the next time you find yourself in a tough situation.1) Acceptance. 2) Prayer. 3) Thankfulness. Let us know how it goes by commenting on this blog.

Take this Job and (Raise it Up)

by Devora Gila Berkowitz


Parshat Vayeitzei


Can you relate?


Yaakov has a tough work relationship with Laban, his deceitful employer. Yet despite his challenging work environment, Yaakov succeeds both materially and spiritually. His sterling character sets an eternal standard from which we learn about an employee's responsibility to his employer. (Artscroll commentary on Bereshit 30:35-36.)

Have you ever felt cheated by an employer? Which of your inner strengths did this situation reveal? Ultimately, who is our most important Employer? And what are our responsibilities to Him, despite what life throws at us? Feel free to add your comments below.